


There's No Easy Way

by starlit_cities



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-28
Updated: 2011-04-28
Packaged: 2017-10-18 18:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlit_cities/pseuds/starlit_cities
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny’s all about words and meanings. Nothing comes out of Danny’s mouth that he doesn’t mean. Steve just, he just can’t because what if he gets it wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's No Easy Way

There’s this word that Steve has trouble saying. He’s never really had to say it before. Not for real anyway. Not when it mattered. Just when his mom caught him pulling Mary’s hair or running over her dolls with his tanks. So it’s always just been something he said. He’s never had to mean it before. And now. Now he doesn’t know how to mean it, how to make it right, how to make the words more than they are.

 _I’m sorry._

Danny’s all about words and meanings. Nothing comes out of Danny’s mouth that he doesn’t mean. Steve just, he just can’t because what if he gets it wrong. What if on the way from his brain to his mouth they somehow shift and change and come out meaning something else. Something wrong. He’s never been good with words. Never had to. There wasn’t any room for words in the SEALs. Just communicating with hand signals and brief looks and weapons. But this is Danny. This is Danny so he has to get it right.

He thinks maybe he can show it instead because Danny knows him. He knows him like Steve knows Danny. So he tries. It’s late and Danny’s almost asleep and Steve thinks now is a good time. Now is a good time because Danny can’t look at him if his eyes are closed. He can’t make him try and speak with pleading blue eyes if they aren’t open. Steve places opened mouth kisses against Danny’s thigh, feels him start to stir. He licks Danny into his mouth and feels him thrust beneath him. And yes, this is how Steve talks. With touches that mean I love you and kisses that say I’m sorry. But he hasn’t even really started when Danny is pushing at his shoulders.

“No,” his voice is raw and Steve doesn’t know if it’s from sleep or something else. “No,” he repeats. And Steve is lost. He doesn’t know what to do because how does he say it to Danny if Danny won’t let him. “Just go to sleep.” Danny tells him and rolls over, rolls away from him.

He keeps trying. Keeps finding new ways to show Danny what he can’t say. They’re in the kitchen when Danny snaps. “Enough! Just enough. I can’t. Just stop. You don’t.” He takes a deep breath almost trying to calm himself. And that’s new because when Danny rants he doesn’t worry about calming himself down. Steve doesn’t know what to do with this, doesn’t know how to adapt or why all of a sudden all the rules seem to be changing. “This isn’t that easy. You don’t get to not say it. I have to. I need to hear it, Steven. I just.” He throws his hands in the air. “I can’t. I just can’t.” Danny spends the night at his apartment. Steve can’t sleep, won’t sleep.

 _I'm sorry._

It’s not like he can go to Chin or Kono for help. He can’t talk about it, doesn’t know how to talk about it. Or what he would even be asking. Words shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t be difficult to find meaning in something. He thinks maybe Danny is giving him time so that when he can say it he does mean it not because Danny’s being mean or spiteful.

And then Steve has to tell a woman that they’ve found her husband in the adjoining hotel room. He does it mostly for Danny. Mostly as another way for him to show him what he can’t say. But then he’s saying it. It might not be to Danny, but it’s to this woman in front of him that just lost her entire world and all the words he says he means. And he doesn’t have to think about them or feel how they taste on his tongue because they’re just there like they were waiting the entire time. Like all he had to do was try.

“Danny,” he says and grabs his hand because he needs something to hold on to, needs something to ground him. “Danny I’m sorry.” And he means it. He means it with everything he has and Danny is smiling at him and reaching for him.

“I know, babe.” Danny kisses him, soft and sweet. Steve can taste the forgiveness on his lips, can feel it on his tongue. “I know.”


End file.
